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My Dear Bailey,

Thank you for your sweet letter. I miss you too – more than you know. When I was a young girl, I used to keep a journal – much like you have! Upon New Year’s Eve, I would write a recap of all that happened that year and what I hoped for the New Year. You crossing over the Rainbow Bridge was the most significant and worst event of 2011, most definitely. I know you did it with ease and you now have a beautiful life in Hyfryd, but it cannot be as good there as it was with me- right? I know, I am being silly. Of course you loved being here with me, because you showed me everyday.

As I reflect on entering 2012, I only think of it as being the first year in more than 3 years, that you will not be part of a specific year. You were with me most of 2011, and now, 2012 will be completely without the beautiful girl I walked with, rode in the car with, kissed, fed, loved, played with and pampered every step of the way and I can tell you that for me, 2012 might be a sort of empty year. Sure, I will have your tree to visit, but I cannot know how I will ever find another dog, boy or girl, who could be as great as you were with me. As you said, you set the bar high – you truly did.

Rodeo has been enjoying me walking him. I think he wonders where you are and Courage follows us too. You know I always loved those two dogs and I think they know I am missing you and want to spend some doggie time with me. Of course your little pal, Zoe loves coming into the house finding Safari and eating a bite of cheese – cheddar is her favorite. Angel likes to play too, but Zoe really loves the heck out of me. You know I love the big dogs, but Zoe gets a soft spot in my heart for such a little girl. At least I get doggie kisses from everyone. Did you tell them that I need them? I think you have because there have been a lot of doggie visits and Safari has no clue what to think. “That’s not my Bailey,” is what I think he is saying when his back arches up and his tail grow fluffy with excitement.

I am wondering if you will send me a sign. Will 2012 be the right time? What do you think? Paris first?  Maybe, but I hate being away from Safari too. The trip was great, but I am always thinking of Safari and getting updates from Paul because I miss him and want to know he is okay. I am going to leave it up to you my sweetie. Yes, 2012 will be an odd year, I have a feeling because it is one that is starting without you in it. Yet, I am grateful – very grateful for all the many hundreds of days we had together. I know – QUALITY is better than Quantity. I keep trying to tell myself that and then I simply cry. I miss your love, and your astounding love, beauty and grace.  I feel you with me everyday. I thank you for the Rainbow in Aruba. I knew you were there and always will be.

Write me back before the new year rings in…

With love always,

your mommy