Tag Archives: cancer in dogs

A Month of Missed Kisses…

28 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by in border collies, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, rescue dogs

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Dearest Bailey,

Today is one month since we said goodbye to our physical relationship. I carry your lock of hair and a treat of yours with me in my purse. Today I pulled out the treat to smell it like you did, with a sense of vigor and interest.

I am glad you were going to have a nice Thanksgiving. We did too and whenever I eat turkey I think of you. When don’t I thtink of you? If I see something you would like, I think of you. You never are out of my mind and I know I am not out of yours either.

It poured rain late in the day and we are supposed to experience some cooler weather. Ralston was here – he misses you, as does Mai, working on some landscaping in the front of the house. You would really like this cat Gracie that hangs around. I named her that. She is very loving and sweet and VERY social like you…sometimes I wonder if you sent her here? I keep thinking that I could never meet another dog like you. There is sometimes a bond so joyous and special – like what Russell and I have. People always tell us that they wish they had a relationship/and or marriage like we have. Sometimes you just know something is right for you and you and I were just like that. Safari is that way too. I can never imagine him having anyone else to care of him but me. Since you crossed over the Rainbow Bridge he has been extra close and loving. He misses you too.

I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much. All those pictures I took of you now are hanging up here. They look so great because you are just so gorgeous! Write me soon of your adventures. I do not have anything too exciting to report and I am sad today without you. I cannot believe I have lived without you for a whole month. I can’t stand it. I hear your woof and bark and see your smile in everything that perfect. I miss your kisses.

Nose to Nose with all my love,

Mommy

The Two Sides of Thankfulness…

21 Monday Nov 2011

Posted by in animal families, border collies, cancer in dogs, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, missing your dog, nature, New Year's Eve, parks, Petfinder, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs, Thanksgiving

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My Sweet Girl,

Oh, how I miss you. With Thanksgiving coming up I am conjuring up images of you and the pleasure you derived from Turkey. Of course you ate your turkey everyday, but you always knew it was my favorite holiday and for the first time in many years, and perhaps in protest, I am not making my favorite dinner this year.  Instead we having it with friends at their club. Perhaps it was fortuitous that Ronna asked us this year to join them; I am not feeling in the holiday spirit by any means. It just does not seem like the holiday season without you and I am thinking of skipping the tree as well because without you here to search under it for a new ball, bone or toy, what fun would it be?

I know I should go through it all for Safari, he loves the Christmas tree and knocking off the ornaments, so maybe I will, but I am not feeling the seasonal glow, let’s say. Then there is New Year’s Eve and I will be thinking about how I really hate 2011 because of losing you and then it will be 2012 – a new year without you in it. I am not sure this will ever get any easier for me, Bailey. We were just so joined at the hip and so perfect for each other – I cannot imagine another doggie bearing your greatness. My friend Jeff told me not to think of it that way and I know he is right. he said, just like people, doggies are all different and no two will ever be the same. I understand that logically, but mentally I am not there. He just went through it with Marlowe and now he has Harper and they are very different and he loves her very much, but I still think he has an extra soft spot for Marlowe that will always be there. I never even met Marlowe and I can just feel it from talking to him about it. I think Marlowe was much like you – tenacious and feisty, smart and beautiful and attached at the hip.

So the question is to give thanks or not? I cannot give thanks for you getting cancer. I cannot thank God or whomever is in charge of taking you from me at your young, senior age of only 10. I guess I can think of some things to be thankful for. I am thankful that you still ate like a horse to the very end! I am thankful you NEVER looked sick- EVER! You are the most beautiful dog on or above the planet.  I am thankful that I got more than a year of fun with you after your diagnosis. I am thankful for your Red Maple Tree we have dedicated to you in Buhl Park. I am thankful for the thousands of miles we logged on foot and by car. I am thankful for all the doggie friends we made and the people that we met along the way. I am thankful for all the fun we had going shopping together at our many stores in Coconut Point. Most of all I am thankful that we found each other through Petfinder, kissed each other literally thousands of times and shared a love that most people never feel as strongly. We were lucky for sure, just not for long enough, but as you said, Bailey, we had a lot of quality time together and that is more important that quantity.

I still cannot help but miss you so don’t ask me to. I do love hearing about all of your adventures and I am VERY thankful for your letters and I am thankful you are having a blast in Hyfryd and have met good dog friends and that you are taking care of little Barkley – who I miss as well as Bingo. So keep those letters coming my sweet girl. Know that you are are very much missed in so many ways, but I carry you with me in the Ruby heart necklace and earrings Russell had made for me in honor of you. Your leash stays with us always in the car so you travel with us in spirit and we celebrate you everyday in our thoughts, pictures, magnets on the car – you name it – we are still attached maybe not within physical reach, but in the most spiritual way, in our hearts and especially mine.

Thankful for your love always – Mommy

Miss You Too…

13 Sunday Nov 2011

Posted by in animal families, border collies, cancer in dogs, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, parks, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs

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Mommy! I miss you too! I know you were crying when you were alone in the car today – I always see you – just know that. Well, the first two weeks here in Hyfryd have been a ton of fun. I am always busy – and as you know us Border Collies LOVE to be busy; especially me! BUT, I have to say that during your drive to FL I was thinking how I wish I could have been with you. It kind of all hit me that I will have to settle for these letters. I too wish you could reach out and kiss me and hug me and stroke my fur like you always did so sweetly. I keep thinking that our 3 years, 4 months and 8 days were the best years of my life EVER and TRULY. As I told you I do not even remember what my life was like before the year I spent in the shelter. I think I have blocked it out of my head. Whoever had me first were jerks because who would want to give me up to a shelter? YOU Never would have even when I did not listen as well as I should have.

When I look back at those pictures you took when I first came to live with you, I was so scrawny and I had nolong  hair cause they shaved me stupidly! You know I HATED having any hair cut! You took such good care of me – you really did. I always felt that there was nothing you would not do for me. I knew that and as a senior dog when we met, that was so important to me – you must know that.  Our senior years are never as easy as our youthful ones, so having someone love you so much and take such great care is truly such a gift you gave me. I know you loved me (and STILL DO I MAY ADD!) more than anything and I felt the same from minute I kissed you at the shelter. I kissed you because I knew I was supposed to be with you. I remember how fast you made your decision and the folks at the shelter said, “you’re really taking her tonight?” You said, “Yes I am!”  It’s funny, I entered your life on a Friday and I left our life together on a Friday – We came full circle at least, even though it would have never been enough time, Mommy. You put more love and energy into that time then ANY doggie could have ever asked for, and for that I am so very grateful and proud to call you mine. I will always be with you like you said. I know everyone is telling you to get another dog to make you feel better – but do not listen to them. I will let you know, I promise I will. You would not feel any better just because you had another dog and you know that and I know that. The reason you have all these feelings is that you do carry me in your heart and we will never be apart – even when you get another dog – cause I will be giving you some of my sage advice – hehehe.

I want you to know that no matter how much fun it is here in Hyfryd over the Rainbow Bridge, I miss your touch and scent and all the love you bestowed on me every second of the day, but you are with me too, because I carry you inside me as well. True love stories Mommy, never really end and ours never will. I really wanted just to tell you all this tonight instead of writing about what is going on. But, I can tell you that Cocoa, Ginger and Barkley and I had lunch again yesterday under a RED MAPLE tree that was way bigger than the one you bought me at Buhl Park, since here it has been growing for years. It’s Fall here too. yes the colors change here, but then you get summer again – you would love that right! We get the changing colors to the Fall colors but then they turn green after a month – the leaves never fall off they just change magically somehow back to Green – it sounds very interesting. Hyfryd has a lot of gorgeous trees just like at Buhl Park, so here I am with my very beautiful red Coach Collar you got me, the most stylish girl in town! You have the leash and we will always be attached.

With all my love 4ever and ever and ever, Your Sweet Bailey Girl xoxoxoox

Loving Every Day you Have….

04 Sunday Sep 2011

Posted by in border collies, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, rescue dogs, Uncategorized

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  September has not started out very well. I know bladder cancer in dogs is an insidious illness and the average age for a good quality of life is a year at very best.  When Bailey’s surgery was done last November 19th, she was lucky it was not found at the neck of the bladder where this is most commonly discovered. She has been taking Peroxicam, a human NSAID drug which we might take for a backache. Vets do not know why this staves off bladder cancer in dogs, but it seems to do the trick –at least for a while.

This week, she went in for her 6 month ultrasound checkup and it showed that the cancer has returned to the third of her bladder which had been operated on. After a long talk with her two wonderful doctors, I was feeling better when I found out that at least bladder cancer masses do not cause pain. As she loses her ability to urinate, then I will know it is time and I also know there will never be another dog like her- ever, unless she herself sends me a sign.

It was hard enough to be thinking about all of this just this week when today I found out that my next door neighbor’s dog, Barkley had died on our road, when she went after a squirrel and someone ran her over. This little white and black Jack Russell Terrier and Bailey loved each other. She bowled Bailey over with kisses every time they played together. She was found as a little pup inside of their daughter’s mailbox this past winter. Her parent’s wanted to keep her – they have two other adorable dogs, Molly and Dozer and Barkley fit right into the mix with exceptional energy and sweetness. I was thinking today about how lucky it was Barkley got a  second chance at life away from the morons who put her into the mailbox. It was not fair that she died yesterday; not fair at all.

As I have been thinking about how I am pretty sure Bailey will make it to Florida this winter, I also know she probably won’t be coming back unless we both receive some miracle from the animal spirits. I do not want any of the choices. Whether you prepare yourself mentally for an animal companion’s death or not, such as in the case of little Barkley; it all is horrible. I have admitted many times in this blog how hyper-attached Bailey and I are. I cannot help it. I have been told by total strangers that we look-alike, we are both feisty and sweet. She brings out the best in me and vice versa. Barkley was like that. She was a little joy to be around and I know she will be sadly missed by her human companions and Bailey and I as well.

We spend a lot of time with Bailey and Safari, our cat. I always want to be around them. When my mother died she was only 48, I think that had a profound effect on me in regard to losing people and maybe that is why I hold on so tight. However, I am always joyful and hopeful for another day and more time to love because in my book it’s never enough time. I guess what I am thinking about today is enjoying each and every day with our little sweeties. I have always liked animals more than people beause of their unconditional love, because that is how people should be and that is how I like to live my life but I think they do a much better job at it then us.