Dear Bailey,

Today was a hard day. I wanted to get to the park before we left for Florida.  The drive was odd without you barking the minute we hit Hazen St. I started to cry the second I got there and saw someone walking their dog. I know you don’t want me to cry all the time, but I have not been to that park without you by my side in over three years since you came into our lives. I wanted to bury a couple of  your favorite chew bones in the mulch of your tree for the winter and help make the Red Maple grow strong and pretty in the spring.  It had lost all but 9 of its leaves and when I saw that I started crying again

As I rounded the first first corner of our path, I started to tear up but then I thought of you doing what you are doing in this picture. The day was cold, sunny and a crisp 50 degrees – our favorite weather! I even wore your little scarf.  I decided to look up and sniff the air just like you do. I wondered, “what does she smell when she points her nose to the sky and sniff as though you are notching  up your nose.?” I always loved that you did that — so adorable. I closed my eyes and sniffed the cold air, which smelled fresh and clean and then I opened my eyes and there was a small plane above leaving its traces of white whispy lines high  in the sky. I started to cry again so I looked down for what seemed to be a second and then looked back up and it was gone – that fast. I had not seen it before I looked up and when I saw it –  it dissapeared as fast as it appeared. Was it you, I wondered? I think it was you.

I know it’s Saturday night and you are probably a very busy girl doing lots of fun stuff, so you can write me back tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you that if that was you – I saw you in that very fleeting moment. I feel you all the time. I was playing some of your videos tonight for Safari and he was staring at the computer screen, but he knew you were not really here, but we liked listening to you talk and bark!  I miss you so very my sweet girl. I hope that you sleep well and dream of me.

Love and kisses, Mommy