Tag Archives: the loss of a pet

93 Days

31 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in border collies, dog/human relationships, dogs, loving dogs, loving life, rescue dogs

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Bailey,

Today I sat down, late in the day and read Jon Katz’ book, “Going Home Finding Peace When Pets Die.” What was interesting is how many things in his book I have touched on in our letters to each other. While it was a wonderful book, I did not learn anything I did not know – perhaps it gave me validation to have my feelings. It always helps to know when others feel like you do.

Today is 93 days since you crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and the book got me thinking how much I do celebrate your life. Something happens everyday that makes me think of you . I do feel you and think I always will. Part of the book is about adopting another dog. Not sure 93 days is enough, but his point is that there ar so many dogs waiting for homes. He made a point about an elderly neighbor who thought she was too old to get another animal, so he helped her adopt a 14-year-old cat, which I thought was a great idea.

I remember when I first saw your picture at www.petfinder.com and read that you were 7 years old, I said to daddy, I do not know how long we will have her if we adopt her, but at least we are giving a senior dog a great life and that is exactly what we did.  A really great life. Of course all the animal companions under my care over many years, have had great lives because that is what I am all about. I bond closely to your spirits because they are genuine and have unconditional love. Most human folk do not have that, though there are a few.

I was not prepared for your diagnosis, however. There just was not enough time, but Katz’ philosophy, from a dog’s perspective is that you dogs come into lives for a reason and leave when your work was done. You are there to lead us to the next circumstance. Maybe writing our book was just that task. That is what I wanted to ask you tonight. Katz says he feels his dogs around him all the time. I know you are with me as much as I know that there is water at the beach. I want to know your opinion, Bailey, so please advise in your next letter. You are the greatest gift; your spirit and intense love.  I need you to know that you made a difference in every life that you touched and none so more than mine.

Well, I wanted to tell you about the book. Of course I was crying once again and needed a lot of Kleenex to get through it. So tell me what you think. I need you to find us the next dog. You must tell me when the time is right. I cannot do it without you by my side.

Write Soon Sweet Girl. I love you endlessly,

Your mommy

The Moon and a Smile…

25 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by in animal families, border collies, coincidence, dog/human relationships, dogs, Dogs named Bailey, Florida, letters, loving dogs, loving life, missing your dog, nature, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs, The Rainbow Bridge, Uncategorized

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My Sweet Bailey,

Everyday when I turn on the computer this picture appears, along with one other picture of you and two of Safari as well.

I say, awww, that is my girl and I continue to miss you so much. I have come to the realization that I will never not miss you, I will only have to come to terms with not living with you and that is hard.

So each day, there is something that happens it seems. Last night, after the sun set, we ran an errand and I noticed the moon was a crescent, but it was unusual in the fact that the belly of the moon was lit. The crescent was a sliver of a smile amongst the dark sky and clouds. I knew that was you smiling at me, just like you are doing in this picture.

I have perhaps more than 500 pictures of you (at least!) and in so many of them you are smiling – almost all of them. You are such a joyous person. You made me laugh and smile all the time and perhaps that is what I missing, because, honestly, I feel amiss without that love of yours because it was simply very special.

I have met many dogs in my lifetime, but none like you. When Zoe, or Zo Zo, as I like to call her, comes over, she has that shine to her like you. She is an energetic little redhead who I do adore. She is always loving and sweet and she gives as many kisses as you. I know that she knows I miss you and I still think that she kisses me extra for you. She is a charmer, much like you and for that and her love, I am truly grateful. I do not think anyone around me realizes how much I miss having you in my life and how teary-eyed I get when I write these letters to you. The good part however, is that we can do this and perhaps teach others that it is okay to have these feelings and a spirituality between us. We have that without a doubt and it is a great gift.

I know you never thought YOU would become a writer, but you have done an excellent job and hopefully you will tell me you learned everything from me, your writer mommy! Since I have been one my whole life, it is no surprise that you, my sweet girl with who I have everything in common, would be one too! And that reminds me that you are slowly getting some friends on Facebook. I plan on working more on it tomorrow as I will be home all day, but I am sure you know your page is up and you are looking good my cutie.

It is late now and I should go to sleep so I can get up early and get to work on some more writing for you and work on our book project. I know you are excited and so am I. We are a team you and I, on and above the earth forever shall we be. I will look forward toward your next note.

Good night My Sweet Bailey Girl. I love you so,

Mommy xoxooxox

Sunday Thoughts….

22 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by in border collies, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, rescue dogs

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Dear Mommy,

Thanks for your letter, sorry it has taken me this long to write back, but I, like you, have not felt that creative lately. Barkley had a bad cold and I had to help her and make her a good stew with a lot of carrots. She does not like them as much as I do, but she ate them and got better pretty quickly thanks to your “Nurse Bailey.” I knew you would be proud of me, looking after her like I have. She is barking away and running around like a crazy girl in circles again, as a good Jack Russell should do.

Aside from Barkley, I saw you and daddy suffered through some bad colds too, huh? Glad to see you are much better too. I did read your note in regard to Joy. I think you have to meet her of course and then you will know. I still do not think daddy is ready but he will be in a few months, but think more about Safari. I know he is getting all of your attention now and probably loves it; remember he is 10 now too!

So I have a favor. I see you did not like Dogbook. I checked it out at the Woofbrary and I don’t like it either, but I do want my own Facebook page, okay? Please get on that! We have to get this book thing going. You were really on a roll with getting me a lot of publicity, so we cannot stop now! Ha! I know you are smiling now….You are so cute, mommy. I am missing you a lot this week and I know you have had perfect weather and you were thinking how much I would love to be on the boat with you and daddy with the wind blowing in my hair….yeah, those were the good ol’ days for sure and I truly miss them. We do not have boats here in Hyfryd – that is the one thing that is missing. We have a lot of greenery and some lakes in parks so we can swim. You know us collies are not big on the full swimming thing, but I do like to get my paws wet and stomp around so me and Onwen have been doing that a lot lately. I see you are having a little valentines party- I am mad that I cannot be there – you know I love parties and people! I think I will have one here the same day you are and then we can compare notes, okay? I can decorate and I can bake little doggie treats in the shape of hearts. You are my heart mommy and I love that you wear the Ruby heart on your neck in my honor. We are linked together forever you and I. You know that, don’t you? I know you do because I feel it so strongly. There is such a sense of you being around me still, do you feel it too. Does it happen because both of us feel it all the time? I think so. In fact, I know so and I love that so much.

I love this picture of us in Florida. I have it hanging up in my den – I framed it and everything! Well Mommy, I think I want to go to sleep and I think you are tired too, since we always went to sleep at the same time! Write me soon and let me know if you can make me a Facebook page, okay? Maybe I don’t want one? You decide! You and me always figure things out, right? After all we picked each other!

Your Loving Bailey,

xoxooxoxoxoxooxo

The Year’s Beginning (without YOU!)

10 Tuesday Jan 2012

Posted by in border collies, coincidence, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Dogs named Bailey, letters, loving dogs, loving life, missing your dog, nature, New Year's Eve, rainbow bridge, rescue dogs, The Rainbow Bridge

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Dear Mommy,

I know you must be wondering why I have taken 10 days into the new year to write to you when you have already written. I have wanted to, but this time (and I know I have told you not to do this) I am the one having a hard time. I was thinking about 2008, when you came into my life and how fun it was. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Hyfryd is beautiful and I have so many friends and my den is very nice, posh and diva like (of course) but I was thinking as the year began that the one thing that was missing was you. Well, actually 3 things were missing – you, daddy and safari. Although I have been entranced with my new life up here, as 2012 began it sort of hit me that this was MY first year without you in 3-1/2 years. You are my family and always will be and I miss you so much.

I see how much work you have been doing on Facebook  in regard to help in rescuing dogs, especially ones at high risk. Keep up the posting I hope that it helps!~ Yes, we have doggiebook up here and they just told us that soon I will be able to post on your site. It would help if you set me up an account on your dogbook they said, so work on that, okay? I know that makes you want to rescue another dog and I know daddy is not ready and I certainly don’t think that safari is. I saw how he was when Zoe came rushing into the house – and she’s a tiny dog! He was not too fond of Rodeo and he’s my size! I really want you ALL to be ready together. I know you, you would rescue everyone if you could – your heart is always in the perfect place. It certainly was on June 20, 2008 when we found each other.

So I was having a hard time as I sat down to write you under my favorite tree. I think it just hit me that this year will be our real first year of physical separation and I long to push my nose into your face and kiss and lick you and walk with you and drive you crazy! haha! I was running with some friends the other day and I was winning and I was remembering as I slowed in my running with you up our special path you would ALWAYS says, Bailey Wins! Bailey Wins! You always let me win at everything. You are the perfect mommy and who would not miss their perfect mommy, so that is why I did not write sooner. I will admit it, I was a little sad. You know, Border Collies are strong though and JUST like you, I am a strong female, so I thought about not ever telling you all of this, but I can’t help it. I have to be honest.

I personally did not do much of anything to ring in the New Year because of all of this. Barkley was here and we shared some good hamburgers and some potatoes. He misses John and Tracy and we commiserated about all of this. Onwen and company came over later and we barked some songs and fell asleep before midnight. I know – none of you made it either. My tree looked good but I took it down on the 1st just like you did and I hung your picture on my tree like you did there. Aren’t we just the same, you and me? I know we are so if you were a dog mommy, you would be a high energy Border Collie – everyone said we had the same dark brown eyes!

So that is about all since the New Year. Today is the 10th and it feels like more days have gone by. And, by the way, when are you ordering the book? I am so excited! Do it tomorrow! I want to be the star of the blog book (of course). Red cover, right? Good!! I cannot wait! That will cheer us both up – or maybe it will make us cry? Ahhhh, either way, it shows that we are forever connected no matter what year it is, so that is one thing that IS the same in this New Year. In our hearts we are truly one. Always and Always.

Write me soon, mommy! I love you way up to the stars xoxooxoxox

Your Sweet Bailey Girl

Missing Moments….

04 Wednesday Jan 2012

Posted by in animal families, border collies, coincidence, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Dogs named Bailey, loving dogs, loving life, nature, rescue dogs, second chances

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My Dearest Bailey,

So the year has begun and I wonder when I will stop marking days in relation to all things having to do with you? I think never! I know you want me to stop doing this sort of thing and live in the present moment, but you know I have always had a hard time with that. In fact, one of the MANY BEST things you taught me was to live in the moment– and we shared so many of those moments. It was in moments, like playing with you and your bone, walking and watching you smell and focus on one particular spot of grass or shredded leaf that was always amazing to me. I took such simple joy in those special pieces of time. How you could smell one thing for 5 whole minutes, which in turn would make me stop, take notice,  and think why and what does that smell like to her? Without you, I don’t do it as much anymore. I know Safari has been enjoying all the extra time and attention, but he never wants to play as long as you would want to that is for sure!

How is that favorite bone of yours in this picture? I let you take all your very special stuff with you over the Rainbow Bridge to Hyfryd, but I still have a bag load of those toys because you told me keep them for the dog you will hopefully find for us! You always loved to share – that is why you have a mommy named Sherri! Different spelling, but at least my name has the word sound of share in it, right? I loved sharing everything with you right? Including my food! Yesterday Safari wanted a little teeny piece of crust, and it made me think of you since you loved crust so much! Are you getting any in Hyfryd? I bet that you are if I know my Bailey!

So how did everyone in Hyfryd ring in 2012? Did you do anything exciting? If you did, please tell me all about it in your next letter!  We didn’t do anything. It was just like a regular day. I am going to try to be a semi- vegetarian and just eat vegetables and seafood once in a while. I think it will be hard to give up chicken, but I am going to try very hard. I never cared about beef – Oh boy, you always LOVED your beef!!! Chicken will be a hard one, but I just don’t like idea of eating animals anymore. Today was the starting day!

Did you see that I wore the red purse for the first time today? I bet that you did. I was wearing a red sweater so it went well with it and it made me think of you. Red anywhere makes me think of your special red Coach Collar and Leash, which is still in the car in a special compartment so your spirit will always ride in the car with us! Sometimes I still look into the rearview mirror and think, where is my girl?  I miss going to the dog park in Estero too. I am sure everyone there misses you too. It was always cute when Wes called you the “Movie Star.”  You were just that and everyone recognized that quality, my sweet diva girl.

I watched one of your videos yesterday and started crying…I know…I know…but I love hearing you whine and talk and bark. I love that I can hear you and see you move. I miss your movement all around me – after all you never stopped moving! You were like a whirlwind of love surrounding me always. It’s just so hard not having that energy around anymore. I am sure you have brought that with you to Hyfryd and now that you feel like a healthy girl again, I can only imagine the beauty that you bring to your town and furry pals. You will tell me all about it in your next scribe, okay? Mommy is tired. I have worked a lot at the computer today and you did always make me take breaks and now, perhaps I don;t break often enough unless Safari comes over and walks on the keyboard— telling me to stop and pay attention, so of course I do. I get into the moment as best as I can. I just wish I had more of those moments with you too.

Forever and ever your mommy….xoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo

My Side of Thanksgiving….

24 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by in animal families, border collies, cancer in dogs, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Dogs named Bailey, letters, loving dogs, loving life, missing your dog, nature, parks, Petfinder, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs, Thanksgiving, The Rainbow Bridge

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Dear Mommy,

That last letter you sent was so beautiful and it made me cry thinking about how much you miss me. I feel exactly the same you know but I don’t want you to be sad. You have to celebrate the love we shared everyday from now on, okay? I mean, it’s okay to msis me and cry too, but I rather you be smiling like in this picture, which I love of us. You are holding me so sweetly, like you always did – like a mom who loves their furry child the VERY MOST!!! – YES! That would be be ME!

Let me tell you why I am thankful, since this is my favorite holidaytoo especially cause it involves my favorite food- Turkey!

I am thankful for you finding me and giving me the BEST home in the whole universe.

 I am thankful that you helped me get rid of a lot of different health problems from the very start.

 I am thankful that our cat, Safari liked me so much and let me herd him around.

I am thankful that you worked at home and got to be with me 24/7!

I am VERY thankful for getting to have two big houses with lots of room.

I am thankful for everytime you brought hom new food, you were thoughtful and brought me some new veggie bones and a new toy.

Can you imagine how thankful I am for all the turkey you gave me – not the deli stuff either – you only gave me the real cooked stuff – so delicious!

I am thankful that you never got mad at me when I gobbled down Safari’s food when I first came to love with you and daddy. I LOVE cat food!

You mentioned all the zillions of miles we logged on foot and by car; SO TRUE! I am so thankful for that – not to mention the doggie parks in PA and Florida AND OUR FAVORITE PLACE TO WALK – BUHL PARK!!!!

I am thankful you always took me shopping in FL – Those gals at Bath and Body Works and Dillards really loved me!

I am thankful for my very special Red Maple tree in Buhl Park and the beautiful dedication that honors me – I am sure I am the ONLY dog in the 400 plus acres that has their own tree!!!

Mommy, I could go on and on and on and my list would probably never end because our family was the BEST family. You could be a dog because you are such a loyal person. I see how you treat daddy too and how much you love and care for him and of course Safari too! That is just who you are, as your friend Jennifer likes to say. Loyality is very important to us dogs and it’s nice to see that some people have that too – it’s just that you go above and beyond – And, by the way, I KNOW this is true, cause I read all the cards you got after I crossed over the Rainbow Bridge and EVERYONE said that in their cards about you and how well you took care of me! You never put yourself first and you are a very thoughtful person and I love that about you. I knew it the minute we met and THAT is why I kissed you immediately so you would take me home and see, you did! I knew right then you loved kisses too!

Today Mommy, I want you to think of all the things you and I have to be thankful for. I’m thankful for www.Petfinder.com  who helped you find me! Had you never been searching for Border Collies on there, we would have never met, so I have to say I AM VERY thankful for that. Remember that we have much MORE to be thankful for than not and most of all I am simply thankful for US!

Barkley, Bingo and I are having Thanksgiving with Caru and Onwen. I am so excited. There is PLENTY of turkey up here for everyone. We are having it at my doggie den. I am making a beautiful table like you enjoy making- you taught me everything! 

I love you so much. Write me back soon because I love your letters and I know you love mine. What’s not to love because they are from each other!!!

Your Loving, Smiling, Sweet, Bailey Girl (kisses! nose to nose!)

 

 

 

 

You Keep On Giving…

15 Tuesday Nov 2011

Posted by in animal families, border collies, Dog walking, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, parks, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs

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My Sweet Girl,

I took the last of your Newman’s Organic Dog food to Petsmart yesterday to donate to homeless dogs who live at a shelter just like you did before we met in 2008. Did I tell you that I had read on Facebook a shelter in Charlotte, NC that needed heartworm medicine and I still had five doses of your Revolution, so I mailed it to Amber at Ruffed Up Rescue – isn’t that a sweet name? I was thinking that since you crossed over the Rainbow Bridge, you still keep on giving – but that is the kind of gal you always were and still are, I am sure over there in Hyfryd.

The stationary I had made with your picture came today as well and a big magnet bearing your name so it’s like you are still taking rides in the car with us only sadly, I cannot turn around and have you there barking at me. I miss that so very much. I meant to tell you to ask around for a collie mix named Bagels from Chicago. That was my dog for one week when April and I were kids. Our mom gave him to my grandmother though because he peed once in the house. He was only a little puppy and we were heartbroken, although we got to be with Bagles almost every weekend at her house. I only have a couple of pics of him, but he was a collie mix and so sweet. If you see him you might want to be friends, he would be a good friend I am sure.

Today I worked on some projects and then ran a couple of errands – not too much to report to you. I did want to tell you that I wrote you a poem which I thought came out really well – you can read it and let me know in your next letter how you like it. I wrote it in New Bedford one night after sitting on the rocks staring at your grave, The moon was full and new and your mums were still in bloom. It was a cold clear night and very beautiful. You always inspire me….I will await your next letter….Love and kisses, nose to nose, mommy

For Bailey

Red Maple Winds
Skip Leaves at my feet
Yours I hear
… in their landing

New Moons;
Full moons
Enlighten senses
of your place beyond me

Slipped into Fall
The Colors of you
Shed life with leaves
that fall fast as my tears

We Will Always Be Together…

28 Friday Oct 2011

Posted by in animal families, border collies, cancer in dogs, dog/human relationships, dogs, Florida, loving dogs, loving life, nature, parks, rescue dogs, second chances, talking dogs, Uncategorized

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  Letters to each other – Okay, I will let you go first…

Mommy,  the ride over the rainbow bridge was easy. It’s beautiful here and it’s just like you said it would be. It’s very green and a perfect 70 degrees–OUR kind of weather! The first thing I saw in the sky was a beautiful rainbow; and I hope you can see it way up in the sky tomorrow when you fly over on the plane because I will be watching.  In fact, I will be watching you forever and I know you will be too. I thought we could at least write letters to each other from now on so I could tell you what I am seeing, thinking and feeling  and you could do the same. I know you will want to cause you love to write letters and you already taught me how to write on here, so I am ready.

I want you to know that I am thinking about how we did not have enough physical time on earth together, but it is said that quality is better than quantity and certainly we had that didn’t we? The only thing I remember in my life is the year before we met when you rescued me from Angels for Animals. It was hard being there for a year, because as you know I am very social, but there were too many dogs barking there all the time. We might have only had 3 years, 4 months and 8 days but every single one of them was better than the 6 I spent without you and I know you feel the same way…

 There could never be enough time with you because you took the very BEST care of me. I know I had health problems from the get go but you helped me get rid of those but no one has cured cancer yet and I don’t know why I had to get bladder cancer but you helped me through it and get over the Rainbow Bridge, which was just as hard for you, I know. I am glad I don’t have to pee every 5 minutes anymore! I can run and jump just like you said, my legs feel great and I don’t need those stupid pills which were affecting my stomach, but you already know that. You knew every nuance about me and my body usually before I did. I always said you were very smart!

I am going to miss you giving me my treats but here there are bowls of them everywhere for anyone to take, but I still loved when you fed them to me. I was thinking about how you did everything for me. You cooked for me, cleaned for me, fed me, bathed me, groomed and brushed me, walked a lot with me  at Buhl Park. (I LOVE my Red Maple Tree! ) – we did everything together didn’t we?! Most of all you loved me better than anyone. By the way, when I was getting sleepy, I heard Dr. Crago tell you how you went beyond the call of duty and no one else would have been so good to me. You really did. You are a very loyal person – Daddy has told me that too, by the way – he LOVES that about you! Well, so am I. You always said we are a lot alike and I agree. So, I will stay in your heart forever and even though I am not there where you can see me (except you do have 10,000 pictures of me!)  – I am there in your mind, your heart and our souls are forever connected. I will help you select another dog, but not immediately! I appreciated you sending me off with my favorite bones, treats and toys. Tell Aunti April thank you so much for the pillow she had made with yours and my picture on it. I loved that and it made me comfortable. I took it with me over here but that is something I cannot share because it’s so personal to me.  Did you see that I left a bunch of toys in the basket that I bequeath to the next lucky dog who gets to share their life with us. Of course NO DOG will ever replace me, I know that. I am your first doggie love and certainly the best! And only I GET A BLOG….

So now we will write letters and keep this adventure going mommy. I know you didn’t want it to end and neither do I. You and I will never have an ending, only a new beginning…With all my love and kisses, Bailey xoxooxox

Bailey it is true, we will never be apart. I am trying so hard not to put a question mark where there is a period.  Already I see you and feel you around me in everything and yes, we will continue to write each other letters – that is the perfect idea my lovely girl. I am glad you liked the tree I got you at Buhl Park – certainly this was our very special place of peace, exercise and social activity and I will visit your Red Maple all the time when I walk there. It will be awful lonely walking there without you, so when you find a dog someday for us, please make sure it likes to walk as much as you and I did, because we logged hundreds of miles and you know how I love to walk in the park. And of course you added to it’s beauty. I am so proud that each and everytime I took you there (and everywhere) we were stopped, quite literally, by people telling me how gorgeous, how soft and sweet you are. Yes you are all of that and so much more.

When I was crying my eyes out this morning ( and for the last month) and told you that you are the best dog, I loved that each time I said it, you kissed my lips right at that very moment. You KNEW you are the best girl ever. Just like when I met Russell, you too gave me a one true kiss and then I knew – just like I did with him. You are so right, there will never be another you as you are my first and forever my doggie love. Again, I will await the sign from you, because you chose me too you know, so we both have good taste and we can easily recognize the good people from the bad ones.

We were so lucky to find each other. You know, many people do not take a chance on a senior dog, but I am sure glad we did. More people should but I can understand that it can be very hard to not have the quantity of time one would like to have, but the quality is something I would never trade. You have taught me so much and I can never thank you enough; well maybe I did. You got to have a great senior life and that was the goal. You got to go for 10,000 rides in 2 different cars, trips to FL, two houses, and countless rotisserie chickens, and low sodium turkey, your own doggie beach and boat and we made many, many doggie friends along the way. If only I could have taken you on a cruise that would have been the best! Someday I think there will be something like that!

Speaking of which, remember I told you to look for certain people: Barkley is there – find her because you two loved each other and I know you miss her because you were sniffing over at John & Tracy’s everyday since she went over the Rainbow Bridge so kiss her too for me….Also find Bingo Foley and Marlowe Sulski and if you can find Tarzan, Cheetah and Freedom for me – yes they are cats, but you like cats; especially their food and I know they would share with you!  Give them all my hugs and kisses okay?  You never got to meet Bingo or Marlowe, but I know you would love them. Bingo is a boy and Marlowe is obviously a girl, like you. And according to her also-very-devoted and very special Daddy Jeff, much like you! Feisty, tenacious, beautiful, loyal and loving – one rarely experiences all those great qualities in people – but those of us in the know – realize that you all have it going on way better than humans do. No one loves unconditionally like a dog; especially you, my perfect one.

It’s been a long day for both of us my sweet girl. I will look for you as I fly the sky tomorrow. I will be wearing red, just like you, so look for me and we will send a sign to each other. Goodnight for now my Bailey. Here is to our new beginning..

 We both love you so very much xxxoxoox

PS:  Safari is sitting here next to me on the desk as I write to you. He wants me to tell you that he did not eat much of his dinner cause he is not sure where you went; it might take him a while. You know, as I like to say, a cat is and dog does.